Screech's 'Saved By The Smell: The Teaser Trailer

Prepare yourselves, for all of Western civilization is about to destroyed by the latest, utterly irreparable tear in the washed-up-celebrity/amateur-sex-tape continuum. This morning's news of a forthcoming Dustin "Screech" Diamond fornication video certainly signals the end of days, not only because of the childhood nostalgia-annihilating debasement of its onetime child star, but because of the highly theoretical sex act supposedly performed by a person whose previous on-screen romantic entanglements were limited to a severe case of Lisa Turtle-supplied prepubescent blue balls.* Hoard the bottled water, cans of tuna fish, and currency in small denominations, for it just gets worse from here. Full Story

The Teaser Trailer

First his desperate broke ass takes a move out of my play book and begs for money on the Internet. Now this unoriginal burnout is ripping off Paris Hilton's bread and butter.

Why would someone pay to see Screech's desperate broke ass give a Dirty Sanchez? Speaking of creatively named sex acts, I think The Roman War Helmet is the most aptly named of the bunch...